I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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