Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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