finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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