Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm passing your future prison.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
