somebody snuck up and got me drunk
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
