He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
