my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
