Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
