Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
