She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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