Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
