Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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