It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
vagina is talking i cant
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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