god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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