How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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