Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
