They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
