While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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