That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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