she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
