you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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