I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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