question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
