plz talk dirty to me
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
