So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
