What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
