Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
