spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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