I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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