problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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