Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize