hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
