the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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