what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
