Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
