1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
