my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
