hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
