i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You dont lie about slip and slides
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
