Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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