And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
