Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
