Only a mothe r could love this liver
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
