my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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