Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
