yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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