It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
