I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
that is very illegal...i love you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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