May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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