I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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