we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
