soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
